Lord, I quit. But you promised. So I’m going to hold You to that. I’m at a loss. I’ve been running and pushing and pressing and fighting and searching…and I can’t do it. I can’t keep going. But you promised. I said I’m willing, and You said ‘go here.’ I said I’m willing, and You said ‘do this.’ I said I’m willing, and You said ‘love them.’ I said I’m willing, and You said ‘give now.’ And I feel like I’m going and doing and loving and giving more of myself than of You. So I QUIT.
No more. I’m done. I’m not lifting these bricks and dragging this burden anymore. Not by my own strength. You promised. You said You’d be my strength. You said You’d give direction. You said You’d provide the power. So enough of my stupidity…enough of my pride…enough of my failure. Be my success.
“to this end I labor, struggling with HIS energy, which so powerfully works in me…”
If this truly is what You have planned, then show me how it all fits together. Give me a glimpse of the method in my madness. Let me catch just a bit of the order to my chaos. Because my eyes are getting old, my vision is blurry.
I know You are good. Just teach me what “good” really means.