As I continue to get older by age, I realize that in many ways things are different. Looking back even over the past 8 years, I’ve changed so much. When I was younger, and simple ball and string could keep me entertained for about 4 hours, but now I’d get bored of it after about an hour and a half. Things are changing.
Ive noticed alot that my mentality on a lot of things have changed too. The types of situations I allow myself to be in, the thought process I have when watching tv/movies, the conversations I join into…even 2-3 years ago it’d be completely different. For instance, over this past Christmas break, I noticed myself join into conversations dealing with family life, the future of the church, Christian living, etc. At the same time, there was the Patriots vs. Broncos game going on. Any other time I would have quickly left the conversation and watched the game. But recently, I’ve been drawn to these conversations. I love hearing from people who I was “dreaded” talking to. These were those people who I always felt gave the gospel message to every person they saw, in every conversation. But now, it’s just so exciting to hear from them, and share what little I know. It’s amazing to see desires in people that I never noticed, or never gave a chance to.
I also used to look at some preachers and pastors who basically would watch the same movies or shows that I would watch, but they would see some sort of relationship to a picture of God and stuff. And I would think they were crazy. Like, I thought it must be see boring for them not to be able to enjoy a movie without having to think deeply into everything. Again, God started transforming me into that sort of mindset. I start to get very upset or broken about watching things that before I simply let pass. Lyrics and phrases jump out at me as amazing representations of how people act towards God.
I realize that the more I get engulfed in God, the more I see God in the details of everything. And I’m so thankful for that. I’m thankful that I’m not the same person that I was 5 years ago. I’m thankful that I’ve been given grace to notice the changes. I’m simply thankful. I guess it’s all a part of growing up. New values, new understanding, new perspective, new vision. The uncertainty of what lies ahead and getting old is a bit nerve-wrecking, but after realizing the progress made through 21 years, it’s hard to want to settle where I’m at. I might not truly feel ready to grow up, but I truly am thankful.